Is Bad Therapy Better Than No Therapy?
I once had a therapist tell me that sometimes bad therapy is better than no therapy. Instantly, my squirrel brain spun in 10 different directions!
Surely that can’t be true…right?
Like, bad therapy?
The kind where you feel worse after the session than you did going in? Where your boundaries are crossed, your pain is dismissed, or you walk away confused instead of clearer?
Yeah. That kind of therapy.
Let’s Talk About What “Bad Therapy” Actually Means
“Bad therapy” isn’t just about a therapist who doesn’t click with you. It can also mean:
Being misunderstood or pathologized
Getting advice that reinforces your worst habits
Feeling judged, talked over, or emotionally unsafe
Having your trauma minimized - or worse, retraumatized
In some cases, bad therapy doesn’t just stall progress. It actually causes harm.
Word Vomit ≠ Safety
Now, if you’re someone who just needs a space to brain dump - where you feel safe to word-vomit without worrying too much about the response - maybe even somewhat misattuned therapy might still offer value. You get to be heard. You practice putting words to things.
But let’s not confuse that with healing.
Because if your therapist is giving feedback that reinforces maladaptive coping mechanisms or subtly supports your already dysfunctional attachment patterns? You’re not getting better - you’re just getting better at staying stuck.
Not All Therapy Is Safe - for You or the Therapist
Here’s something people don’t talk about enough. Not all therapists are actually trained to hear your trauma. And when you show up - raw, vulnerable, trauma pouring out - it’s not just about whether you feel safe. It’s also about whether the therapist is even capable of receiving it with care, skill, and containment. Because if that therapist doesn’t have trauma-informed training, what feels like emotional relief in the moment, can lead to deeper harm later.
We throw around the phrase “trauma dumping," but what’s really happening is that people are finally letting go of what
they’ve held alone for too long - only to be met with someone who doesn’t know what to do with it.
And when that happens, clients often start to feel like they are the problem.
“I shouldn’t have shared so much.”
“I think I overwhelmed them.”
“I feel exposed. I knew I should’ve stayed quiet.”
Let me be clear:
You should not be worried about traumatizing your therapist.
It’s not your job to manage their reactions. It’s not your job to protect them from your pain. If a therapist is impacted by your story (which can absolutely happen - therapists are human), it’s their responsibility to care for themselves.
If they’re trained in trauma work, they know how to care for themselves. If they’re not, that’s not your fault. Therapists are ethically responsible for managing their own reactions through personal therapy, clinical consultation, and supervision.
If they’re not doing it, it’s not on you.
Your only job in the therapy room is to show up as you are. That’s it. The rest is on us.
The Risk of Staying in Bad Therapy
Sometimes, the most damaging thing about bad therapy is that it convinces people that therapy doesn’t work.
I’ll be honest. As I typed that last sentence, I started to tear up. Because bad therapy doesn’t just slow down healing - it
hurts people. It shuts them down. It makes them feel like they’re the problem. And worst of all, it keeps them from reaching
out again.
And here’s the part that really gets me: some people never try again.
That one experience becomes the reason they stay silent. The reason they don’t open up again. The reason they decide,
“I guess I’m just too broken.”
They go once. It’s weird. The therapist says something off or misses the point. So the client shuts down - and they don’t come back.
“I tried therapy. It didn’t help.”
And just like that, the door to healing closes.
And it breaks my heart - because when you’ve witnessed some of the deepest trauma work and most seemingly magical transformations the therapy space has to offer, it’s devastating to know that people genuinely believe therapy doesn’t work.
All because of one bad therapist.
So, is bad therapy better than no therapy?
Here’s my take:
Not going to therapy is neutral. Bad therapy is not.
Good therapy fosters trust, awareness, and real change.
Bad therapy creates confusion, reopens wounds, and makes healing feel impossible.
And no therapy? It may delay healing, but at least you’re not being hurt in the process.
If You’re in Therapy That Doesn’t Feel Right…
…It’s okay to leave. Seriously.
You’re not too much, too broken, or too complicated.
You might just need a better fit - a therapist who really sees you, challenges you appropriately, and meets you with respect and care.
Therapy should feel like a safe(ish) space. Not a confusing one. Not a harmful one.
And if you’re not sure how to tell the difference? That’s something worth talking about, too.
So if you’re someone who has been in bad therapy - on behalf of the therapy community, I’m sorry.
You should have been met with care, not confusion.
You should have felt safe, not dismissed.
You should have been supported by someone who was trained, present, and ready to hold space for your story.
It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t mess it up. And you are not unhelpable.
There is good therapy out there. You’re allowed to try again - at your own pace, in your own time.
